“They called me at school, now they are criticized. How to love yourself?”
I was often called me at school, and to this day I get reports about the fact that a terrible, fat. Forever, everything is “wrong”: I do not paint, I don’t talk like that, I don’t dress like that. How to stop taking everything to heart? How to love yourself?
Christina, 26 years old
You know, Christina, to
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be what you are not, a very difficult and costly story. You will always not like something, someone not to arrange in something.
If you imagine that you suddenly became exactly what other people want to see you, then you (the way you are) have ceased to exist. You would have nothing left for you, no features or features that make you.
Put yourself in the center of your world and start from what you think for yourself is true.
In existential analysis, the concept of conscience, for example, is associated with the possibility of being honest with oneself, not to deceive yourself. And even if you make an erroneous decision, but you consider it true for yourself at the moment, you will subsequently not depreciate yourself and fill up with criticism. After all, you will remember that it was then that you considered it right.
If you like a certain style in clothes, makeup and think that everything is to your face and so good for you, then do not retreat and broadcast your position. So you can distinguish moments when constructive criticism sounds and people really want to draw your attention to something important: in this case, their statements are always respectful and soft, without the intention of you to laugh or humiliate you.
And you can safely consider careless comments addressed to you as an attack. Do not regard them as something related to how you look or what you do.
When you have your own stable position, your opinion, which you can argue and protect, you begin to arrange a strong friendly relationship with you. Relations built on respectful attention, acceptance and love. You start to like yourself. And this will automatically celebrate the people around you.
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